I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
