shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
