Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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