i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
