i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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