I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
