We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
