I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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