Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
