Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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