College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
