I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
