Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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