please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Life is so much better after having sex.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
