If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
