I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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