no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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