Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
