Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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