I'm really into asian looking animals
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
