This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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