the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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