I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
