What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
