that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
