Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
