"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
