I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
