Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
