I just threw up on my dentist
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
