Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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