you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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