We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
