She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
