There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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