were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
