You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
