she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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