I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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