Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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