Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
