I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
