But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
