We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
