pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
