I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
