Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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