Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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