The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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