Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
