woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
