Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
