morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
