The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
