Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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